


Finding Respite

by ArgetCross



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Chapter 17 spoilers, Chapter One is Work Safe, Chapter Two... not so much, Eventual Smut, Explicit Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Femdom, Hurt/Comfort, Other, The Married Army Life, slight roleplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-08
Updated: 2014-10-11
Packaged: 2018-02-15 08:44:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2222751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArgetCross/pseuds/ArgetCross
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He finds her in a khan's bed while lost in memories and reflecting on a peacetime won on loss. Sometimes the best way to stop all the noisy thoughts is to kneel and follow orders.</p><p>Or Lon'qu and Haura snip at, confide, and love each other after the Valmese War.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Lon'qu strolled down the castle hallways, re-familiarizing himself with his old haunts. Here was where the senior generals held their war councils, there was the servants’ door where Lon’qu had ducked into after ‘borrowing’ an extra dinner serving. Little had changed in the port castle in the years he had been away.

The castle by Port Ferox was not the largest of Basilio's castles but Lon'qu had spent his first years in Basilio's service fighting, learning, and growing strong within these walls. Here had been where a Chon'sin slumboy had proven himself worthy of standing by the West Khan's side.

Now the Shepherds, having been across the long sea and back, occupied it as a temporary garrison. It had been a whole year since Lon'qu and the others had been on native soil and he could not think of a more fitting place to spend his first night back. The only thing missing was the West Khan himself.

His feet took him to Basilio's personal apartments by habit. The drawing rooms were still covered in dropcloth, creating ghosts out of the furniture and Lon'qu's footsteps left prints on the dusty carpet. Past the first set of doors, he saw another pair of prints leading towards the bedroom, piquing Lon’qu’s curiosity. No one else should have access to these rooms excluding the castle staff or perhaps Flavia. And Lon'qu knew for certain the East Khan would be immersed in the celebrations in the large Feroxi halls. He pushed the door open with one hand and it swung open with ease.

The fading sunlight seeped through the cracks between the drawn curtains and most of the room remained in shadow. Lon'qu stepped in- this too was familiar territory, how many times had he been forced to fetch tea for the Khan on a chilly Feroxi night?- and saw the sheets that should have been covering the bed piled on the ground. His hand went to his sword hilt on instinct.

Someone was sleeping in the Khan's bed.  

Lon'qu edged closer. Then, he snorted and let go of his sword when he saw who occupied that bed, blissfully unaware that she was drooling on the West Khan's pillow.

He sat down on the edge of the mattress and watched Haura's chest rise and fall. Lon'qu had spent many long nights watching over her sleeping form as nightmares kept him awake until several hours before dawn. She was not an elegant sleeper, with her mouth hanging open and her breath shallow and prone to stopping. Her unbound hair had splayed out across her face and the pillow. Lon'qu reached over to pull a sticky strand out of her mouth and his fingers brushed the shell of her ear as he tucked it away.

She sighed and from the flutter of her eyelashes, he knew he had woken her.

"Haura, you’re not supposed to be here." he said, leaning in, voice low, trying not to drag her out of the sweetness of sleep but not wanting her to fall back asleep.

“...Five more minutes.” She whispered, her voice slurring with drowsiness. Her eyes closed again and he could tell from the way her breaths slowed that she was falling back asleep.

This he knew how to deal with. Lon'qu slipped his hand underneath the bed sheets and pinched the soft skin of her thigh, hard enough to hurt but not bruise. Haura’s eyes flew open at once and she swore loudly.

“We’re not even on march.” She hissed, glaring at him.

“You are not sleeping here.” He said unapologetically.

“Oh, I’m going to kick your ass the next time we spar.” Haura said with a huff as she stretched out against the sheets to shake the sleep from her body.

“You speak as if you are my better in swordsmanship.” he said with a snort. Still, he laid his cool fingers against her warm skin as an apology. Lon’qu rubbed his thumb against the sore spot and she pressed back against his fingers with a sigh.

“Don’t need to be better when I’m a tactician. Just you wait. I have...stratagems.” She said through a yawn as her back and joints cracked into place. Lon’qu could feel the warmth of her body clinging onto the sheets and blankets around her. Although the setting sun had left the corners of the Feroxi castle cold and sharp, this corner of the bed stayed invitingly warm.

A trickle of sweat crept down his collar. For a moment, the bed blurred in front of his eyes, and it was not Haura that lounged there but Basilio- no, Basilio’s memory, with his laugh and his rough words echoing in his mind.

_‘What are you doing, boy? She’s a beautiful lady and you should do somethin’ more than grunt like an impotent seadog. Bwa hah hah, no need to roll your eyes at me again. Your lady problem only gettin’ worse, huh? You try working with Flavia, that’ll give you somethin’ to actually be scared of in a woman. If that piece of armor even contains one, aha hah!”_

The memory of the woman by Basilio’s side was fuzzier and Lon’qu could not really remember anything about her aside from her open slumped posture, an alarming amount of skin, and an expression meant to put men at ease but only injected the fear of the gods in Lon’qu. He felt his stomach drop with years old embarrassment as she did not deserve the harsh words Lon’qu blurted out in an attempt to ward her off. At least Basilio stopped making Lon’qu run errands to his bedside when he had...company over.

Thinking about those times only made Lon’qu aware of how, even after he shot up taller than the Khan, Basilio had been a titan beyond Lon’qu’s reach. In his bed, both Lon’qu and Haura combined covered only a corner, leaving the majority of the sheets empty and cold. For the first time in many years, Lon’qu was unnerved by Ferox’s frigid surroundings. His hand brushed up the skin of Haura’s hip, burrowing deeper for warmth, before he realized the lack of fabric against his fingers.

"...where in the name of the gods are your pants?" he asked.

"You know I don't like sleeping with pants." Haura said without shame.

This was true to Lon'qu's continuing consternation.

"And if someone were to discover you?" he challenged.

He ran his hand absentmindedly down her calf, her body heat loosening his stiff fingers, and felt the familiar prickle of her leg hair against her sea-salted skin, rough from the road. The calluses on his fingers from years of swordplay caught against her. It was a reminder of how they had beaten and bent their bodies to acquire the strength in their arms and the prudence in their minds. Haura may had not been raised in Regna Ferox but within all of her Plegian fire and Ylissean nobility, she had Feroxi guts in her belly and Feroxi steel in her spine.

It was also what made both them both so stubborn.

“That's what the blankets are for, silly. And this isn’t the ship. No one will walk in.” Haura said amidst a yawn. Lon’qu frowned. While he admired her fearsome prowess on the battlefield and the command in her voice as she conducted their troops to victory, a Haura relaxed and drowsy in a warm bed was not to be divulged to anyone else. He guarded those moments as he thought he should, a jealous lover, Haura had termed him gleefully, with no intention of sharing. That had been in part what made the last month on the ship so unbearable.

The dank belly of the ship hardly allowed for privacy. Plegian crafts were not designed for their crews' comfort and while Haura got the one tiny cabin on the ship thanks to her rank, being married to her did not let him escape sleeping in the communal area. Lon’qu would not mind as he barely slept anyway, but it proved challenging for other reasons.

Haura's cot barely fit her, let alone Lon'qu and even from that small room, everything echoed into the bowels of the ship. Sleeping on the ship meant always being in the company of others and _sleeping_ on the ship meant biting down into pillows, sneaking in and out through creaky doors, and keeping one's clothes in order at all times. Lon’qu and Haura, as stubborn as they were, flagged out after the second week. It made him flush just to think about it.

Biting back his retort that he had just walked in, he bent down to retrieve her trousers from the ground.

“And why did you think it was a good idea to just sleep half-naked in a khan’s bed?” He said through gritted teeth. He avoided her eyes in embarrassment as he tossed her trousers to her. His aim was off and they landed on her head as she was sitting up.

“You’re bad tempered all of a sudden. What happened? You were thrilled to be back in Regna Ferox earlier.” Haura asked, squinting at him.

“It’s nothing. You haven’t answered my question.”

“For your information, it was Flavia who suggested, well, demanded that I should crash on her bed.” Haura said and scowled as she pulled her pants off her head. There was a real irritation in her voice now, but Lon’qu was too distracted by her words to back off.

“Wait. You said Flavia said this was her bed?”

“Yes, Lon’qu. So I said, it’s fine-”

“Haura, this is Basilio’s bed.”

She fell silent and whatever remaining sluggishness in her expression disappeared with her narrowed eyes. Her shoulders had tensed up and her back had straightened. Lon’qu was uncertain, but she seemed to struggle with something for a moment before her confrontational air vanished and her entire expression fell.

“I see...”

Her face filled with concern despite how exhausted she looked and Lon’qu cursed his unwieldy tongue. He wished he had just stayed silent, that he had let her return to sleep because if there was something that disarmed him completely, it was when she demanded to show him exactly how much she cared for him.  

“This castle was where you first met Basilio, wasn’t it? Do you need to talk about...?” she asked and climbed out of the sheets, careful to smooth them out behind her. He watched her with guarded eyes as she kneeled by his side with her knees against his thighs. The light touch made his skin prickle but he stopped himself from pulling away.

“The Feroxi are no stranger to great warriors falling in battle-” he said.

The old irritation returned on her face for half a second before she managed to smooth it away. “If you’re going to feed me those lines again, I’m actually going to get angry. You can hide your feelings to everyone else, if it helps you get by, but we’ve always been honest with each other, haven’t we?”

“My apologies. I am not-” Lon’qu said, closing his eyes for a moment.

“Good with words.” Haura finished. When he opened them to look at her, his face full of innocent surprise, she laughed. “I am your partner, you know. I’d like to think I know you better than you give me credit for. Take your time. I’m going to be here until we’re both old and grey.”

Lon’qu felt his breath catch and could not hold her stare. Perhaps a few months ago, he would not have been able to place the sensation rising from his stomach to the roof of his mouth. But now that he could put a name to this desire, to touch her, it overwhelmed him. Perhaps he wanted to since the first moment when he saw her sprawled out and relaxed in those sheets and it was only now under the honesty of her eyes that he could no longer suppress the feeling.

He leaned forward, a little uncertain and hesitant. His lips felt dry and he licked them, feeling her eyes watch him. He rarely took initiative like this and it took her a moment to make the connection. Lon’qu did not dare move, suspended in the moment, watching, and waiting. Then, she tilted her head to invite him.

Lon’qu paused for half a short breath before dipping down to press a kiss to her lips.

Haura smiled against his mouth and pushed herself closer. Her hands flew up immediately to cup his face, but she restrained herself to a feather light touch. He could taste the remnants of her slumber, languid and comfortable, on her mouth and it washed away his anxious thoughts to nothing but her.

“Can I…?” He asked when she pulled away to part her lips. And the words were too embarrassing to say out loud, especially when their noses touched and Haura’s closed eyes fluttered open to watch his, leaving his breaths shaky.

“I’d like that.” she mumbled. He reached out to wrap his arms around her shoulders. Haura scooted onto his lap, piling herself into him and throwing her naked legs over his right thigh. She warmed him from toes to the tips of his ears as she snuggled against him. Her pants fell to the ground, forgotten.

“Sometimes you’re an ass and I can’t stand you. Then you go and do something like this,” Haura grumbled into his neck. “This is for being so cagey and trying to push me away.” She nipped at his throat, not hard enough to bruise yet but with enough sting to make him jerk a little. Wherever her teeth caught, she made sure to lay a kiss ontop and Lon’qu could feel his cheeks burn. He tightened his hold on her.

“Haura, please-” he muttered and tried to angle away from her distracting mouth.

“Mm, okay.” She pulled away from his neck and Lon’qu relaxed. Wrapping her arm around his shoulders to steady herself, Haura settled into his arms.They let the silence fall over them, listening to each other’s steady breathing. It had been a long time since a moment like this.

“Do you remember how Morgan kept waking up and being sick in the middle of the night?” Haura murmured, trying not to disturb the quiet. Lon’qu grunted. “And he came to me but you didn’t let me go to him?”

“I was up already. There was little reason to call you out of bed.”

“Morgan told me you stayed with him until he fell asleep and brought him to Libra the next day. You took wonderful care of him. You will be- no, you are quite the father.” Haura said and traced vectors on her own leg, some familiar graph to her eyes but just a series of random motions to Lon’qu.

“...cease with the flattery. It is embarrassing.”

“Aw, I know you like it a little bit. Just a little bit.” Haura teased.

“...He prefers to learn under you regardless. He is his mother’s- no, your child through and through.” Lon’qu said. Before Haura could object with some clever retort, he continued, “But I prefer him the way he is. Everyone from child to warrior needs their idol. Basilio...was mine. You are Morgan's.”

Haura could not help the bashful smile that spread across her face.

“Who is flattering who now? When we get a baby Morgan in this timeline, perhaps this time around it will be you he looks up to most. ...actually, do you think we should start trying to make a Morgan now? Chrom’s had Lucina for a good two years now.”

“I am going to drop you.”

Haura continued cheekily, “Or maybe we could give Morgan a tiny baby sister. Would you be okay with a itty-bitty grumpy Lon’qu daughter? We could even start right now- no time like during the celebrations of a war’s end, right?”

"Nnrgh-!"

Lon’qu swung her forward as if to dump her onto the floor and Haura’s laugh was punctuated with a reflexive shout of alarm. She threw both her arms around his neck to keep herself from falling out of his lap and when he pulled her back, she slumped against his chest with a groan. Then, she started laughing again and he even let out an amused huff.

“Feel calm enough to talk now? That enough distractions for you?”

Lon’qu snorted. Of course that had been her plan. Haura herself was the best distraction when she wanted to be. And as usual, her strategy had worked perfectly. He did feel far more at ease than when he first entered. And yet, even if he wanted to say something, he realized he had little idea of where to start. Looking around the room, he racked his brains for some inspiration. Then he remembered exactly where he was.

“...when I first was recruited into Basilio’s service, this was the castle I trained in. I looked up to him first as a warrior. I suppose he was also the one that taught me a little about fatherhood, when he took me under his wing...” Lon’qu began. Haura slipped down to sit between his legs so she could put her head against his shoulder and listened.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

As night stretched over the castle, Lon’qu told his stories. He spoke plainly, just the facts of what happened with an occasional huff of triumph or frustration. With each passing minute, Haura could sense the calm settling into his limbs.

Sitting in his lap had robbed her of seeing his expression, so she instead listened close to his low voice. Haura became keenly aware the sensation of him around her, of the way his fingers curled into her thigh each time he spoke about the weight of his sword. He paused just so each time mid-breath when he found the words he wanted. It was rare for him to speak so much at once and she felt his rib cage rumble with each word.

He had impressed Basilio in the streets with nothing but a training stick and a passion to learn, to fight. His first teacher, a self-proclaimed barbarian from the northern plains, had worked and treated all the new recruits like dogs. Yet when Basilio came to observe the practice, he had directly recommended Lon’qu to the khan.

Here and there, he let slip the small happinesses in his spartan lifestyle. A new blade purchased from his first real wage, the discovery of Ferox’s potatoes, his and Olivia’s first cringeworthy meetings, all with Basilio laughing somewhere and recounted, if not with a smile, at least an easy expression. And the longer he spoke of Basilio, the more she continued to think back to his earlier words.

Idolatry.   

It was not a relationship Haura knew well. She was Chrom’s tactician, certainly, having walked through the fires of hell together, but they buttressed each other. Chrom chased his sense of justice unflinchingly to treacherous cliffs and mountains and Haura promptly followed him right in. One friendless tactician or lord did not win wars, but together with the Shepherds behind them, they toppled an empire. Still, it was always in Chrom's power to ignore her counsel, have the final word on battle plans, or even demote her to a simple foot soldier. Instead, he had come to her to ask what rank she would like to hold.

She had settled on ‘Captain Lieutenant’. It was a two way promise to Chrom. One that, Lon’qu made it clear to her, a khan like Basilio did not owe to anyone, not even his champion.

"Basilio held Marth to a greater esteem nearly from the moment they met- it was not only because she disarmed me so quickly.” Lon’qu said, “Marth…no, Lucina, disguised as she was, had the bearing of a leader. She was more than just a skilled warrior. Her sword, while unpolished, bore a different weight."

Haura blinked, taken aback for a moment. “...That is high praise indeed, coming from you.” Still, she knew what he meant, a judgement only revealed through steel on the dusty arena floor.

“It is only the truth. Anything less would be disservice to her. Even had she been a man, I would have lost.” Lon’qu said and his lips curled into a half-mocking smile.

“We wouldn’t want you to do a disservice to women and their martial abilities, now would we?” Haura replied with the tiniest touch of acid in her voice.

“Hmph, duly noted. I had been stubbornly convinced I had been defeated through a divine trick, that my fear struck in the most critical instance as some sort of punishment. I suspect that was why Basilio had sent me away to begin with - I had become a nasty piece of work in the subsequent days.” Lon’qu snorted and in his tone was the old self-directed criticism.

“Only one of the reasons, I am sure. He must have wanted you to experience the world.”

“Certainly. I was not bitter about it. Seeing her fight against the Shepherds cleared my head. The loss was utterly mine. I had been too weak with my sword as well as with my mind. ...Even now, when Lucina and I fought side by side in Valm, I have been trying to figure out what she had that I lacked- what I am lacking.” Lon’qu confessed.

“Lucina, oh dear, I fear we are all lacking compared to her.” Haura said and shook her head with a sheepish laughter. “She’s seen more tragedy than most of us ever will, and having to lead a kingdom on top of that… I can just barely imagine it. We have little hope of exceeding her in those sorts of hardships nor would I want to see you do so.”  

Lon’qu frowned in concentration. “...what Basilio saw though, perhaps it could have been experience. But it still felt like something else. A charisma that I lack. The Ylissean soldiers, even without knowing who she is, turn to her the same way the Feroxi turned to Basilio. Look at Morgan.” Lon’qu said. Haura knew too well what he meant. Morgan, along with most of the other children and some of the adults followed Lucina with stars in their eyes.  

“Lucina inspires others through example.” Haura let out a soft chuckle as she rubbed her thumb against his knuckles. “Even you- I noticed you always drop what you’re doing if she needs help. One of these days she’ll figure out it’s you who has been sneaking around her back.”

“...I have no idea what you are referring to.” Lon’qu said and he dropped his head down on her shoulder, as if to hide his embarrassment.

“Are you afraid I’ll tell? Of course not.” Haura said, unable to stop the exasperated grin from crossing her face. Luckily he could not see her expression with his chin kissing her shoulder, otherwise he would probably huff and refuse to talk to her. She raised her hand and ran her fingers through his messy hair.

“It was the best way to study her leadership up close.” he mumbled half-heartedly, knowing he convinced neither himself or Haura.

“I was surprised you took the initiative- even if you don’t, you know, actually talk to her or get close to her. Does this bother you so much, that you aren’t a natural leader like her?”

Lon’qu’s response was to grumble discontentedly into the crook of her neck. Haura hummed and pulled his hands onto her stomach, wrapping herself in his arms. He fell silent, but Haura could tell Lon’qu was still thinking from the way he had stilled completely in concentration. So she waited.

When he pulled his thoughts together, he began, haltingly but gaining steadiness with each word. “I was not comparing myself with her. Much. But rather...Basilio had said to Olivia that I might have the potential to be a khan someday but the more I saw Lucina, Chrom, or even you command the Shepherds, the more I realize that I am not like her or Basilio. I am not you. I am… not a leader. I am a warrior who cannot even face half of our soldiers because of a childhood trauma. And now that Basilio is gone and we defeated who defeated him, I do not even know what I should be striving for.” Lon’qu said, lifting his head slightly and meeting Haura’s eyes. Despite his omission of confusion, his gaze was clear and direct.

Haura exhaled and leaned in to rest her temple against his. “That is… heavy. I cannot give you an answer-”

“I don’t expect you to. Nor should you be capable of doing so.” he replied curtly.

“...of course not.”

“This is something I need to figure out myself.” he said quickly. “It is...frustrating though. Much like each time I try to speak to Lucina but can’t stop shaking, I feel as if I am banging my head against a wall.”

Her fingers curled into his and he squeezed back. All clever thoughts had left her head.

Lon’qu sighed as if he expected so much and turned to rest his mouth on the side of her head. It was not a kiss so much a self-reassuring touch and whatever his eyes saw, looking out above her head, she did not know. His breaths slowed as the moments passed and turned steady and full.

“...I can’t give you an answer.” Haura began and Lon’qu pulled away to watch her. She spoke with weight on every word, as if placing chess pieces in place. “All I know is I want to see you happy with whatever path you decide to follow. If you decide you want to fight and become a Khan of Regna Ferox, I will weave you a strategy so airtight that even Flavia will think twice. If you want to do a Gregor and become a sellsword, as long as you wait for me to conclude my unfinished business with my fath-Validar, I will gladly come along to see the world.”

“...No matter what, I will live a life of conflict. The first and final dream I have will always be to master the sword. That is my happiness. Are you satisfied with that sort of life?” Lon’qu asked after digesting her words.

“Yes.” Haura said simply. He seemed to have reached a calm through his own thoughts and that brought some cheer to her expression.

“I am a war tactician. No matter where or how, I want to grow old together. We’ll terrorize armies across the land with our sword and tactics prowess.” Haura thumped her chest in a show of bravado as she had seen Basilio do once and ended up coughing from hitting herself too hard. Lon’qu gave an amused snort. Still, he rubbed her back as she sputtered.

“...Truly charismatic, you are. You would make a fine khan yourself.” His sarcastic quips hid the sound of relief in his voice and his hand on her back was gentle and warm. Haura laughed, half-wheezing and half-barking, deep from the belly and to the tips of her hair. Then, she stiffened as he pressed a clumsy kiss into her neck, right where she was most sensitive underneath the jaw.

“...thank you for listening.” he mumbled, not really words so much as hot breath against her skin. She tilted her head back, baring her throat to him. The ache that she had managed to suppress in the face of worry surged back, making her fingers flutter with anticipation.

With each open-mouthed kiss he trailed down her neck, she arched back into him. His hands, meandering and unsure, ghosted her side before she grabbed them and laid them flat under her stomach. When he sucked hard enough on her skin to bruise, Haura squeezed her eyes closed and sighed.

At the sound of her breath, he pulled away with a very wet sounding pop and grew very still. “Haura-” The way he said her name, trying to sound calm even while he had no breath to spare, the end of her name spinning away in a gasp, made Haura’s abdomen clench.

“Don’t stop.” she said and the urgency in her voice brought a forcefulness to her request, making it sound like an order. It was all the encouragement he needed and he followed obediently. His teeth grazed against the back of her neck, making her hiss with pleasure or pain, Haura could not tell. Then he began to lay sloppy butterfly kisses down to the base of her throat. His fingers twisted into the material of her shirt before slipping underneath to palm her stomach and the roughness of his cold hands against her heated skin made her groan. Haura let herself soften under the ministrations of Lon’qu’s mouth and fingers, feeling the usual knot in her shoulders unwind and leaving her in a hazy cloud of bliss.

When he had finished leaving a blooming row of darkening lovebites, Lon’qu retreated to admire his handiwork with a grunt of satisfaction. His hands slipped out from underneath her shirt and hesitated before settling onto her thighs, warm now from her body heat.

“What brought that on?” Haura asked as she twisted around to look at him. She could see one bruise out of the corner of her eye on her shoulder. Never before had he intentionally left a physical reminder of their nights and each time Haura left a bruise or a trail of her nails, he had always made sure they could be hidden by his clothes. Last time she had misjudged the height of his collar and left a visible bruise in the front of his neck, he had borrowed a disgustingly sweet smelling scarf from Gaius in the heat of Valm. It, like many of his habits, made her sigh with exasperation and affection, especially when she had to insist multiple times she did not mind if he left marks on her and, no, this hardly hurt, in fact, it felt very good.

“You said earlier I have not been very affectionate as of late. And you know that I am not very good at that... As I appreciate you listening to me and being… here, I thought I could repay this debt.” Lon’qu said and it was amazing how tender he could be one moment and stiff the next. Haura could not help the brash laughter that escaped her lips.

“You say things like I’m capable of being a khan and then kiss me like one. Lon’qu, you’re going to make my heart stop.” Haura exclaimed and hid her embarrassment with incredulous laughter. “But there is no debt. So long as you feel better.”

“I do feel better.” He insisted. Haura reached up and ran her fingers through the thick tufts of his black hair. What he said next made her freeze.

“But I would still like to do something for you...”   

Haura’s fingers stayed twisted in his hair as she looked at him fully, taking in how his eyes darted away yet kept coming back to watch her from under his eyelashes. Her words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them. “Are you...proposing to me? You?”

“Is that so strange to you?” he asked. He had been the one to initiate their romantic relationship in the first place.

“Yes, I mean, I know you really like it once we’re into it but I’m usually the more- you know what, never mind. I’ve waited two weeks already.”

“Don’t hold back.” Lon’qu said, sounding at last his usual confident, slightly cocky self. He desperately wanted to shake off those leaden thoughts.

Haura turned in his arms and threw herself at him, intending to kiss him but missing the mark entirely. They overbalanced, collapsing onto the bed with a loud creak. She hovered on top of him, an inch from his mouth and as their legs tangled, Lon’qu let out a rumble of incredulous laughter at her eagerness.

Caught in his smile (at last, there it was) that made her toes curl and her heart swell, Haura began to chuckle as well. As he reached up, hand snaking to the back of her neck and tangling his fingers into her hair, she let herself be drawn down.

Kissing Lon’qu when he tried to be gentle sent shivers down her spine. Each hesitant breath felt like a drop of water that filled her bit by bit. As he settled and found comfort in her mouth, the little noises in the back of his throat made her call back with gasps. The drops became a drizzle, surging stronger and losing her world to a wash of water and warmth. Then he flicked her tongue in her mouth, opening her up to the heavens, and Haura pushed herself deeper, drowning herself in the downpour.

Lon’qu pulled away for air, oversensitive and completely red, and muttered, “Ah, was that enjoyable?” He hid his spit-slick lips behind the back of his hand.

Haura was unable to hide her crooked, stupid, infatuated smile and pushed herself up to straddle his hips, careful not to bear her whole weight on him down there. Last time that had happened, she had apologized profusely for ten minutes and then they had both gone to sleep miserable.

Looking down, she saw how he had stretched out under her and Haura forgot how to breathe when she saw how beautiful he was. His broad chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath and the collar of his shirt had fallen open to let her peek at his collarbone. Despite dwarfing Haura in height and size, he laid between her naked thighs, waiting for a signal from her, curved enticingly against the rumpled sheets.

Under her scrutiny, his other hand went to cover his eyes as well, trying but failing to his blushing face.

“I enjoy you indeed.” Haura said and Lon’qu peeked out from between his fingers to give her an unamused look. He scrunched up his eyes when she leaned down to kiss the tip of his nose. Meanwhile, her hand snuck behind her and felt him through the fabric of his trousers.

Lon’qu _shuddered_. His entire body tried to lift up off the mattress and was only held down by Haura’s weight.

“Haura, we’re doing-? Here?” he gasped as she removed her hand and he slumped back down.

She cocked her head in mock innocence, trying to hide how having him quiver against the inside of her thighs made her own head spin.

“Do you not want to? I thought that’s what the whole not-holding-back was about.” Then, because the sight of him under her made her lose all sense of subtlety, she leaned down and whispered, “All those nights, I was thinking of how I could hold you inside me. I think I want to ride you until you can’t even remember your name.”

Lon’qu made a strangled noise as he took in what she said. “But… what about you-” He began, but Haura leaned back again to slide her hand into his trousers. When she ghosted him with her fingertips, giving only the barest sensation of touch, he let out a hiss and tilted his head back. It reminded them both of their first overly sensitive nights.

“Oh, trust me, this does everything for me. Would you like that?” she prompted again as he bucked up into her hand. Lon’qu looked up at her almost accusingly and Haura said, half teasing, “Your Captain asked you a question, soldier.”

Haura did not miss the way he almost jerked off the bed in order to stand to attention, even without her fingers on him. Too late, Lon’qu tried to play off the motion as straightening his back, but even in the low light Haura could see the utter loss of control in his expression. _Oh._

The way he watched her, expectant, made her exhale a sharp hiss of air. Almost instinctively, she lifted her chin and straightened her shoulders as if she was overseeing new troop movements in full uniform instead of straddling her husband in her smallclothes. This was what he wanted, she realized. To mute the loud static in his thoughts, at least for tonight, and revel in the intimacy, which had so much power to set him on edge, that now could release him to pleasure. The way his hands came to her hips, firm and warm, told her so with the pressure of his fingers.

“Yes, sir-” he enunciated, almost belligerently polite, and Haura rewarded him with a long, rough stroke, bypassing his smallclothes entirely. He burned down there and Haura’s cold fingers only made him shiver more. It took a couple more caresses before he was completely stiff and leaking onto her hands. Then she deliberately pulled her hand away, wet from his precum.

“Haura, I think I won’t last long tonight-” Lon’qu said through gritted teeth. He groaned at the loss of contact, as his hands went for her hips.

“What did you call me?” she said and pinned his hands to the mattress up by his head. Seeing the way he strained against her despite being painfully aroused, Haura was fully aware she would not last long either.

“Please sir-” he corrected himself. His hands wandered up and down her hips and his thumbs grazed her inner thigh. Haura sighed.

“Oh, very good. Just relax. I’ll take good care of you.” she hummed. Perhaps it had finally hit home how much he wanted her, and she dived down to kiss him hard. Their teeth clacked together before she managed to match his frantic, needy pace. Haura could feel the ache between her legs mount and send her into a haze of lust. She flattened her body against his squirming chest and relished the warmth, of their skin rough against their clothing. Lon’qu continued to make the most exquisite sounds and with his hands restrained, he pushed up with his mouth. She slid down his form and then grinded down at the juncture of his hips, craving the friction, the soft, wet noises, the way he panted, eyes dilated and full of lust underneath the fringe of his hair.

Yet it was not enough and Haura let out a frustrated whine. She needed more of Lon’qu and if the way he had started canting his hips up in an attempt to find respite in her was any indication, they were of the same mind. Haura had just enough mental faculties left to clamber off him and release his wrists.

“Against the headboard. I want to ride you.” She ordered, trying in vain to keep her voice from trembling. Before he moved, he reached over and helped her pull off her shirt. “Lon’qu-” she breathed as his thumbs grazed the curve of her breasts.

He moved down and peeled off her soaked panties with a quiet diligence despite his flushed face and stiff arousal. His fingers only skimmed her skin again and the mere suggestion of touch made Haura’s breath catch.

When she was completely naked, Lon’qu lightly pinched inside of her thigh again, a love tap, and unsteadily stood up off the bed to pull off his belt. Clothes seemed like the worst nuisance at the moment as he struggled with the clasp. He managed to throw away his belt and pants when Haura grabbed him by the collar of his robe, pulled him down, and pushed him against the headboard.

His robe remained collapsed around his shoulders. When he tried to shrug that off as well, she put a hand on his chest and smiled. It looked good on him, wreathing in a haze of faded blue his parted legs and exposed cock that blushed red and dripped.

The arousal in her stomach coiled and she needed to feel him now, to hold all of him within her aching body. She straddled him, gripped him firmly, and eased herself down.

“Haura-!”

The burn hit her first, a delicious mix of stretching and filling, then the ache redoubled along with a flush of pleasure that ran up to her cheeks. Lon’qu cried out and everything was him, his heat, his slickness, him inside her, twitching each time she dived a little deeper. It made Haura twist in his lap, grinding down even as she lost all semblance of control in the need to feel him-

She started babbling, a mess of endearments and desire, when she raised herself back up, insides throbbing with loss. Then, when she pushed herself in one fluid motion down to the hilt, Lon’qu let out a shout, throwing his head back. Her name came like a prayer on his parted lips, caught between entreaty and bliss. The feeling of him quivering under her alone nearly overwhelmed Haura.

“Are you-” Lon’qu managed to say through gritted teeth as Haura forced herself to breath deep and relax around him. Her response was to reach forward, intertwined her hands with his above his head, and begin to move.

With each time she surged down upon him, the feeling of him burying deep within her made her groan. She had missed this so much, the wet sounds coupled with their harsh breaths, the feeling of Lon’qu giving into the heat of their bodies, his brow smoothing out, his mouth turning slack. She could see him squeeze his eyes shut and his fingers dug into the back of her hand in a desperate attempt to cling on as wave after wave washed over him. This was a Lon’qu unleashed to pleasure alone and in her haze of desire, she wanted nothing more than to move him to it again and again.

He was close, so close, she could feel him strung out under her, vibrating with tension each time she thrusted onto him, deep and hard, but not quite there. So she ran her fingers through his thick hair, whispered in his ear, and _pulled_.    

That did it. Lon’qu arched against her with a broken moan and gave one last sloppy thrust up, hard enough for Haura gasp. She could feel him tremble under - _inside_ \- her, hips stuttering as he spilled himself into her. Then he slumped back onto the bed as the lines of his body turned soft and supple in his exhausted bliss. His eyes fluttered open, dark and glazed over, thoroughly undone.

“Let me.”

The hands that came down and settled between Haura’s legs were drowsy and soft, but they were his, with their familiar calluses. Breathing hard from riding him and watching him come, Haura needed only a couple clumsy strokes before she came from her oversensitive high. It surged through her, overwhelming her senses, and she collapsed forward on Lon’qu’s chest, crying out and shuddering, as the aftershocks and the steady movements of his fingers unraveled her.

 

He pulled out of her with a slick sound and they had made a proper mess of the sheets now, with sweat and their fluids. The ache between her legs was fantastic. Lon’qu wrapped his arms around her and intertwined their legs to hold Haura close. There were no words needed.

They stayed still for a while in their afterglow: Lon’qu watching her chest rise and fall as he held her with fingers wet with their fluids and Haura listening to his heart settle. In a moment, they would have to clean up and find their scattered clothes, but Haura refused to think about that, reveling in the sound of Lon’qu’s even breaths. She’d have to make sure he didn’t fall asleep by accident and catch a cold.

Then, Lon’qu stiffened in her arms all of a sudden and Haura drowsily tilted her head up to look at him.

“I came inside you. I came inside you on Basilio’s bed.”

Hearing him speak so frankly prompted a dopey grin from her, to which he replied with only more alarm.

“Morgan, if he was conceived on the khan’s bed- Haura, I am not ready to be a father.” Lon’qu exclaimed.

Haura gave him the best incredulous look she could considering she could barely keep her eyes open. “...Lon’qu, you already are a father. To my child. Relax. You won’t even have to carry the kid for-” Her sentence was interrupted by a yawn that shook her entire body. “-nine months.”

“But-”

“Can we just enjoy the afterglow? Captain Lieutenant’s orders.”

Lon’qu exhaled and she could tell that even his momentary panic could not fight the onrush of drowsiness.

“Relax. I love you. I’ll be here, remember?” she mumbled, words slurring as she closed her eyes. She held him a little tighter, half to stay warm and half to reassure him.

It seemed he had utterly failed in his attempt to get her out of this bed. With a sigh, Lon’qu pulled up the coverlet to wrap them both up and ward off the Feroxi chill. Haura nearly disappeared under the edge of the quilt. He looked down to see her nestled against him, already mostly asleep, hair as messy as when he had found her a couple hours ago. Leaning down, he kissed the crown of her head, whispered into her hair, and closed his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday, Lon'qu! Have some soul-searching and smutfic.

**Author's Note:**

> So this started off as a joke and a bad smutfic idea at 3 am and quickly bloomed into something far more elaborate. So have some slice-of-life married army life...sort of. We never got to see the effect of Basilio's death on Lon'qu and Olivia. Bundled with the fact Haura knows about the bait and switch, there are just layers and layers. ^^
> 
> I like to showcase a bunch of different aspects of Haura and Lon'qu's marriage: their disagreements, their communication, and their sex life. (◡‿◡)


End file.
